It's Been Good
Daddy
“Daddy, daddy” I push his bare shoulder, “Daddy, wake up.” He isn't moving. Why doesn't he get up?
My daughter's sweet voice – candy for my ears – sounds farther and farther away even though she hasn’t moved. I love my singsong girl, calling me, worried. Her small hand grazes my forehead - warm like bread just out of the oven. Is this it
Windows
The curtain moves at the living room window as I speed into the driveway. My oldest daughter runs out the front door and into my arms before I get to the house. We move inside, up to the bedroom, and I have one quiet minute beside him before the ambulance arrives. He is so big, so still on the brown shag carpet. His head in my lap and all is quiet. A moment later, the bustle of saving a life. People all around, lights glaring. I move aside. The EMTs and I climb into the ambulance. Just me and Dick now. The world disappears through the tiny window. Did I just feel his hand squeeze mine
Didn’t any of you see that nurse
“Let me check his chart – yes, he is – all organs.”
“Somebody talk with the family. We don’t have much time. Someone find out what is needed.”
So that’s what my body looks like. Better than I imagined. Not blackened from the cigarettes, the alcohol. Red, alive. Will someone else live now
Celebration of Life
“Dick Gordon was a big person. He lived hard, played hard, worked hard, loved hard. A big heart. A big mind. Big, warm arms that embraced life….”
So many people! Do they really mean what they say
3 Comments:
Jen, I am speechless, thank you for sharing this with us. I know your back story so this is all the more touching. You have captured the confusion of the moment.
This seems to be the one thing I get inspiration to write about. Granted, it was a pretty big day in my life. I have written it from my point of view, from my sister's, my mom's. This is the first time I put my dad's "thoughts" in there....and it was kind of cathartic. One of these days, I hope to be able to move on from this topic....as therapeutic as it is to write about... :)
what a wonderfully open experience. Thank you for sharing your interpretation
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